Opening the Vaults of the Criminally Insane, Vol. 13: Automaton Trans-stupid

 

 

Automaton Trans-Stupid

 

Welcome back to the Vaults, folks!  It’s been almost a year since I’ve thrown open the door and pulled out a few of my older reviews for revision.  So it’s high time for a trio of reviews of zombie flicks I once wrote for my past gig.

 

Today we’ll discuss two zombie flicks that are awful—AWFUL—and one which really wants to be a prison riot flick.  One thing I noticed looking back on the Vault posts this past weekend was that I had reviewed a lot of zombie flicks before I started DE.  Another thing I noticed was that I reviewed a lot of really bad zombie flicks back then.  Synthesizing my logic brought me to the conclusion that there are a lot of really bad zombie flicks out there, and that my obsession with the undead 10 years ago brought me to watch a lot of them.  I pity that fool I was back in 2008 or so.

 

As always, click on the title of each flick for a quick path to the review.  Just remember:  the movies suck, but my reviews are always entertaining.  Enjoy!

 

ZOMBIE DEATH HOUSE

 

 

 

John Saxon would’ve done better to scrap the zombies, and make the gritty jailbreak flick he obviously yearned to make.

 

 

THE DEAD ONE

 

 

If you bring your bride on your honeymoon to three go-go clubs on your wedding night, you deserve to watch this lousy flick as punishment.

 

 

AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION

 

 

Umberto Lenzi is probably rolling over in his grave now that his NIGHTMARE CREATURES isn’t the worst zombie flick I’ve ever seen.  No, that would be AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION.

 

–Phil Fasso

 

Past openings:

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol. 1: Mon-Day of the Dead

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol. 2:  Monday at the Morgue

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol. 3:  A Tuesday of Terrors

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol. 4:  Creepy Crawlers Infest DE

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol. 5:  Great At Any Price

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol. 6: Slashing into October

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol 7: Weird-Ass Zombies

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol 8:  Tues-Day of the Manimals

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol 9:  The Beasts Are Loose

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol. 10:  Fallen Masters

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol. 11:  The Blood Is the Life

 

Opening the Vaults, Vol. 12:  Remakebootmagings!

 

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